Big Stories in Two Little Sentences
She asked me why the Pythagorean oath of secrecy was so strictly enforced that they even once drowned a “leaker”.
I asked her to try to imagine that SHE was the first person in the world to establish a direct connection between numbers and geometric figures, and then try to recall why Darwin hid his book.
Did you know you were my love?
Please stay, for me, please.
She knew if they went to the Eiffel Tower he would just make some crude penis joke.
So she broke up with him and went overseas by herself.
Looking back on the offer, I should have really taken it.
Sure I would have got fucked over by that teacher but I would have got the grades to get into a really good university course.
When there is no way to let off steam, an explosion often results.
That’s why I’m not throwing out the Lego, ok?
Unsure of what to do and what to say, the best she could say was “Let’s just avoid the day altogether!”. Meanwhile, her heart pounding in her chest, eyes cast downward trying to force a smile; he agreed, and neglected to notice the shoulders cast lower.
I’m going to lie to my kids and tell them there are many worthwhile things in life apart from drinking.
And then I’m going to have another drink, hooray!
what do the Gods ask?
how the hell would i know?
He held the gun and aimed, and then, for a fleeting moment, wondered if he should pull the trigger.
Then the highway patroller shrugged, used his radar gun, and pulled over the next poor sap who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The day you showed some backbone and stood up to me was the day I decided I didn’t want to be with you anymore.
Don’t you understand – I want a doormat!
The game was an endless variation on a few simple themes. The final out was a routine fly ball–to a Martian disguised as a right fielder.
I slide deep into the murky lake; sharp teeth clamp my foot. Alligators do exist.
I will never love you more than my girlfriend when I was little.
I will never love you more than now.
I think the future is coming.
Listen, can you hear that squeaking noise?
You, and none other.
The endless and only truth.
I made the mistake of taking out my red dictionary.
Two syllables ran straight for me.
I built a love shack.
Then I found out some group has written a song about it, like, years ago!
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t write stories in just two sentences, so I sought help from a head doctor.
He found a big bump on my cranium that caused excessive wordiness, so yesterday he slammed it with a sledge hammer, and today I have five stories posted on the Two Sentence Stories site.
To fully capture the essence of the world in single sentence is quite a feat; so I was surprised to hear it done while watching Mad Men the other day.
One of the characters said, “This place is Gynocracy”
You’re a transient tic disorder.
Your mum is!