Three insane ideas really rule my life.
Never go back to someone who has rejected you, making your own t-shirts is interesting to girls, getting fat once you have a girlfriend is ok.
Scarborough Beach
I cry when I remember the walk to Scarborough Beach.
I cry for the loss.
From E.H
Just look at me, I’m rolling over in my grave. What ever happened to writing the old-fashioned way, with pencil?
Love & Bottle of Bleach
I love you…I love you…I love you. “Right, you, ya little twat – clean it off, I’ve just painted that fuckin’ wall!”
The only option
After I lost my girlfriend, my job, my hair and the washing machine blew up, there was only one thing to do.
Lube up, baby and let’s fuck our way outta trouble!
Oh, for Heaven’s Sake
“Lars, the sheep was one thing, but that goat’s hoofs are puncturing the waterbed.”
“But, honey, you said you liked animals.”
A pointless list
Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Shinto, Confucianism, Christianity, Atheism.
Oh, and Imaginary-a-Tism, too.
Finally
Sitting on a stairway, sweat turning my skin into a shiny sheen, I see the light.
“You can come home now.”
Happy Ending
She chortled when she saw me, so I shot her in the heart. But as she lay dying, the look of amusement never left her eyes.
A Fatal Error
When he was given the green light by his government to travel back in time to the dinosaurs’ era, he was so proud of being given the chance to eye-witness an event that beggared description that he forgot, under a state of confusion and bewilderment, to take with him the most essential device.
He forgot the coming back mechanism—a small box that sends signals to the time machine to teleport him back to his era—and was consequently stuck with the dinosaurs without the slightest chance of coming back to the twenty third century, but he kept hoping that the rescue team would show up any time until he realized, after some days of harsh survival, that the time machine, he invented, was holding a tricky device that would ruin its circuits after twenty four hours of his departure.
She Got the Job
She got the job because of something beginning with the letter ‘b’. It wasn’t brains.
Impossibility
Impossibility is not a fact. Impossibility is an opinion.
Enviable
I didn’t say his death was “inevitable”.
I said it was “enviable”.
Tome
As she stormed out of our lives forever she dropped her massive tome of insane rantings.
Most of it was bullshit but she really made some good points about people who insist of using vanilla bean pods over vanilla essence.
A Most Beautiful Girl
Her beauty was her only currency and by the time she turned 20, she was morally bankrupt. When she reached 23, she had been in a series of relationships with both men and women; though later on, she was never quite certain if this made her bi, lesbian or just a good opportunist.
Don’t Go!
He heard them saying something about an accident and a time of death, as he lay there staring helplessly at a host of people, doctors and nurses he assumed, with masks on their faces and gloves on their hands.
As a noisy, whining machine was powered off above his head, and as the doctors and nurses walked away discussing what would be for lunch, he lay there, unable to move, breath, or even blink, trying to scream, “No wait, don’t go away!”
Shit
Getting your shit together is not a process.
Getting your shit together is not a destination.
Sudo
Sudoyou.
Sudome.
A New Vice
Morning coffee brought out all the secrets they had been keeping. “The silence,” he said, “is me thinking.”
Music
I’ve got to the point in my life that all the music I listen to is by dead people.
Not Zombie music, but that all the singers have died, I mean.