The ongoing battle with the neighbours has become a war of attrition.
They took out our toaster with a surgical strike, we cut off their communications with the destruction of their letterbox and soon, soon my friends, we will invade their lounge and end this for once and all.
Millstone
Ok, so I get my “millstone” status.
I was trying real hard to be lighter.
Clock
They say you can’t turn back the clock.
Daylight savings, hello?
Stir-fry of Doom
She had an abortion the other night. It was delicious, though a little crunchy.
Sentences
I found some old sentences.
Did I create them?
Were They Strong?
Yes, I knew Anna quite well, and I can tell you before you even ask that she definitely wrote the six cello suites in 1721 because Bach told me so; and he also said that she could out-write him on any stringed instrument… “NO question!”, he would yell it out.
They had 13 children, yet she was buried at Leipzig in a pauper’s grave and was never recognition for her genius… go figure.
Getting over her is hard
Your street is shown on an advertisement!
I mean, c’mon!
Freely
I gave as freely as I could.
You want my liver too?
A Dish Best Served Cold
After all the ghouls had been destroyed, Mike returned to the graveyard where his mother was buried. In her casket, he found only a menu serving the former contents at $5.99 a plate.
Heart
So this is heart.
Heart, this is … what was your name again?
Ruled
I turned my back on the lessons of the Lord.
I decided to by ruled by my heart.
Where They Strong?
I will not forget that it was September, 1914, the Marne; and she was working with her usual fury at a first aid station only 250 meters behind d’Esperey’s Fifth Army line.
I was there 30 seconds after the shell hit, and even 60 years later, I can close my eyes and see her beautiful, dead face.
Dream
I fell into a dream.
And then I saw the clowns!
Freaks
Check out the freaks.
I’ll take a twin pack of ‘em.
Confession
I didn’t brush my teeth today!
(I’m a dentist.)
Onion
I am attempting to grow an onion in the garden.
It’s my widdle onion baby boo boo.
Dark side
If I lived in Star Wars universe I’d turn to the dark side without hesitation.
Bwah ha ha ha!
Struck down
I have struck down thousands.
Lawnmowing.
Were They Strong?
‘Yes filthy King, against your “law” I gave my brother sacred burial, and for this you murdered me by starvation; yet look ye now, repulsive pig, as thrusting from its grave, my hand brings you low!’
Thus beneath joyous Gods, a pious Antigone crushes a reckless King.
Unkind
I realise now that you were not being unkind.
You just know nothing of our world.