Sex never even crossed my mind, until two
hours and four beers later, you said I love you. Oh well.
Childhood
I ran carelessly through the green fields, wind playing hide and seek in my hair, and rain hop scotching down my nose and on to my awaiting tongue.
For I am a child again.
Dinnertime
I walked downstairs into my kitchen to make my dinner, but the pot was already boiling. I live alone.
Dinnertime
I walked downstairs into my kitchen to make my dinner, but the pot was already boiling. I live alone.
Excused
May I be excused?
I’ve got to go fuck up my life with no direction for the next thirty years.
Sugar and Spice
The childhood poem “Sugar and spice and everything nice, that’s what little girls are made of” suddenly seemed so funny to her 6-year-old mind, as she stomped on his coloring book reciting the poem louder and louder.
“Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails” is more like it she giggled, enjoying the satisfaction of ruining the class bully’s precious art work.
Clarity
The amazing clarity hit when I was sitting on the train halfway to work.
I ignored it and went to work anyway.
Bell
I have a tiny bell.
I keep it in the freezer next to my peas.
Revenge
“Don’t shoot him,” I ordered the soldier who was about to squeeze the trigger on the hapless 10-year old son of the slain terrorist leader lying supine on the ground. Next moment, I felt the cold blade of the army knife the boy had snatched from its holster in my belt and driven in one fell swoop into my stomach and the triumphant glint in his little eyes with the hand holding the blood-dripping knife hanging loosely by his side.
Reflection
I go down stairs to get some water as I sit down on the couch and look into the blank tv screen I see a reflection of a little girl (I’m home alone).
Dark Mountain
As I approached the dark mountain the air became heavier, colder and more oppressive. The growing shadow spread its bitter fingers around my heart and then I realised that it was the shadow of my soul.
Fear
I heard something taping on the ball behind me. When I turn my head I saw a huge spider with his mouth open ready to eat me.
Who?
I stared into the mirror.
His face stared right back!
Asleep
An arm hugged me tight.
My sister was sleeping on the opposite end of the room.
Advice
We slept together twice, in case you’ve forgotten.
Maybe you should stop asking my advice on your next doomed relationship.
The Truth Seeker
“David Harold Ashley, I’ve told you dozens of times thinking vulgar thoughts about girls is a sin and now I catch you masturbating in spite of knowing you’re headed straight for hell!!” After Mom ranted out and slammed the door of her thirteen-year-old’s room, he retied his bathrobe, turned on the computer and googled “atheism”.
Struggling
I’ve been struggling with the idea of utterly destroying your career.
I’m wondering if I’ll be able to live with myself (I think so).
4K(reepy) TV
Not long after having freed my new flat screen from its styrofoam and plastic packaging, its brilliant glow fills my room. The only thing is…I haven’t had the chance to plug it in yet…
Tears
When I read your book, it brought me to tears.
Not in a good way, you understand.
Halloween
Halloween is my favorite day of the year. It’s the only day that I can walk down the street covered in blood and carrying a sack of severed body parts without being judged.