All of the writers and singers and geniuses that were blessed enough to be born under the starsign of Capricorn were alcoholics with awful family lives and terrible human skills.
And since I am also a blessed Capricorn, who thinks she can write, sing, draw and paint, and I am so scared of a normal family, I think that I should start drinking, so that my dog can save me from myself when I get too caught up in these shenanigans.
Category: Competition
Competition
Good Enough
My story, as I know it, might end today; my thoughts are always lost, always dirty, always mean. My life was never good enough, I was never good enough.
Teeth
Jeannie gave up brushing to be with her dentist: his earthy smell, the pressure of fingers in her mouth. Five root canals, and she can’t stop smiling.
ASHAMED
He felt deeply ashamed. Of existing.
My Son, the Athlete
The kid once threw a no-hitter. Unfortunately, he was boxing.
Peace No More
Like most of those passionate young people who–during the hippified sixties–went around chanting “Make Love Not War!” the dude eventually opted to do both.
He got married.
Hiding, Not Seeking
The night they met–in the most ardent of tones and with tears glistening in her gorgeous hazel eyes–she told him he was the kind of guy who’s hard to find.
It took many months of mostly painful interaction with her for him to finally realize what she had really meant was, he was the kind of guy she was not looking for.
Decidedly Unsubtle Was He
As a bitter smile distorted her lovely face, she informed one new friend that her ex had been painfully easy to read.
Should she somehow displease him–by, for example, saying something he did not like–her lip would suddenly split and she’d be treated to the familiar taste of her own blood.
Had Him at Goodbye
He offered her nothing.
She returned it.
How you should apologize to people
Sound travels at fast speed, buzzing and killing my silence. But my body is unaware of it, my soul is weak and I have no answer to give you.
Recognising Other Creatures’ Right to Feed
He did not fight the crocodile when it latched onto his leg and dragged him underwater. He did not believe he had the right to deprive the hungry beast from its meal.
The Side Effects of Having Kids
The Side Effects of Having Kids
After a night of drinking with friends, Brad—the only father at the table—scratched his balls and announced he had to go “potty”. The hooker never took his phone number.
Seismogram
The woman rummaged through her handbag, her husband was ruggedly handsome, the heat was stifling, the crowd was buzzing with anticipation. The show was about to begin when a clumsy and unironical earthquake convulsed massively and in the atmosphere of sudden pain no one said anything unnecessary
Sex
What, my dear, is an act so calmly chanced upon, as when two travelers, not long in searching, find themselves already upon the cobbles of the searched for street, and everyone about his business, polite but unheralding (let the easy simile stand, my dear, it’s perfect), we both touched by a bit of drink, sure of ourselves, and bunkered against the lacerating half-frozen rain outside the curtained window, hissing at us, the rain, that to do anything else would be a provocation to its malice, and yes, my dear, we in love, in love and assuming, wrongly, that this was but one in an infinite series? Merely a question answered.
The Racist
He hated his shadow. Because it was black.
She left this Morning
‘Don’t go’ I said. ‘Too late.’ she replied ‘I’m already gone.’
Shot Down
Dreams aren’t like that. Please come home.
Call of Duty
Your mind is up for auction. Who will win the battle – I mean – bidding.
Shimmery Bright
The world is beautiful with tears in my eyes. What could it be without?
The Awakening
He wakes with a terrible hangover and is nearly sickened when he discovers, lying opposite him at the foot of the bed, the now horribly ugly creature he believes he had sex with during the night. On further inspection he realizes it is his own reflection he sees in the mirrored wall.