Category: Two Sentence Stories

Babies scream and wave their arms so much because they’re just in an infinite reincarnation loop, living their own lives over and over again.
Or it’s because they’ve just been pushed out of a vagina I don’t know.

You know that cute look I get on my face when we have just had sex?
I’m actually trying to use mind-power to travel back in time, away from you, forever.

I gotta warn you baby, I’m a playa.
Rwoll with some monopoly, yo.

The movie that describes our first date.
Interview with the Vampire.

Master of Osiris, keeper of the gate, she who was here before us, the dark that has no name, the fire that burns, the chaos that echoes, we summon you to do our bidding.
I want a ham sandwich.

Bring me my socks of justice.
Bring me my pants of truth!

I once got to sleep with someone because when we first met I had the flu and I totally ignored her.
Learn from this, my son.

In the end things were so bitter between us we couldn’t stand to be in the same room.
A prediction for the future.

Men, go home to your wives and tell them the truth.
We tired of all our striving; we want to go back to the cave.

I wonder if you were successful would you be happy?
Does the first depend on the second?

As the model walked past me and winked I thought how lucky I was.
Then I felt really guilty for all my friends trapped in their shitty jobs.

You really don’t need to tell me what you did.
There are no stars so it is pretty obvious.

The ridiculous secret of their lovemaking wasn’t covered by the music he always put on.

Imagine a thunderous storm apparently concealed by the tinkling of a music box to get an idea of scale.

Hear me laughing.
Hear me lying.

Wasn’t it funny that I used to joke that you’d be first against the wall when the revolution came?
Before they shot you I swear I saw you laughing.

Oh Taco you silly billy.
Mexican gardeners – you can’t teach em!