Category: Two Sentence Stories

Rental agents annoy me.
So do rental wives.

I nearly vomited.
Their HEADS were POTATOES!

I’m not lonely.
I’m just alone.

If I ever go to Frankfurt I think I shall make a joke about the name.
Then I’ll feel dumb for being so cliché.

No dimming that switch mister!
We need the sunlight.

A bag of bananas is very expensive.
It doesn’t hold much, either.

I put a spoonful of dirt into my mouth.
Yes, I can see how you didn’t like this, I said.

You agree the earthworms don’t know you exist?
Well, you’ve got to get out and make an effort.

I burnt down a swimming pool.
My next trick: an iceberg!

After the chicken exploded, dad said, you kids get in the car.
Disneyland is weird.

Man it so could have been great.
Woman it so could have been great.

I asked a tree.
Yes, it does make a sound.

The dead man stared at the coffin lid.
I’ll take it, he said.

Maybe every lie is a year of punishment in the afterlife.
You have six so far.

The peas cried.
And so did I.

You left me behind.
Without a bum my pants will fall down.

My noun went pro.
I still have my amateur status.