I roamed a post-apocalyptic wasteland, fighting off flesh-stealers and night-breathers and seeking, always seeking the pure water of God.
What did you get up to?
Author: admin
Fucking
There were two great things about all the fucking we did.
The first was that it left no time for serious relationship talk and the second was, well, the fucking.
Plan
We agreed we needed a plan.
You didn’t say anything about it not sucking hard.
My Little Pony
I must be strong.
She can’t know how much I miss her.
Unhappy
One day I stood up on the train and spoke my speech to all the unhappy commuters.
I didn’t go to work that day and neither did anyone else in that carriage.
Museum
We gathered in the museum and studied the small dried thing behind the glass.
“Look what they’ve done to my dream,” said Dad.
Church
Of course I go to church.
The church of Bacon, sucka!
Hydrogen
Hydrogen is good for you!
Postage is good for you!
Surgery
You know why they knock us out for surgery?
So we won’t discover we’re robots.
Bowie
I know with absolute certainty these sentences will be the only to survive the destruction of our civilisation and will be endlessly puzzled over and analysed for deeper meaning forever and ever.
With that in mind, David Bowie is freaking awesome.
Found things
I cleaned my room and found many of the things you had left behind.
My self-respect wasn’t amongst them.
Do this thing
Ok, I’m here and I am ready to distract you from the fact that you’re well into your twenties with absolutely nothing to show for it.
Let’s do this thing, baby!
First weekly winner!
Hurro!
The first weekly winner is “Supposing” by Sharon Cohen. Prize of $50 AUD (which depending on where you are in the world can buy you a decent meal, a small sandwich or a modest house).
Why I love “Supposing”
I was completely lulled by the melodramatic tone. My initial thought was that it was another heart-breaking sad story. Then came that toilet flush!
Suddenly I was thinking – how long was this person in the bathroom? How long does it take to soak a pillow with tears? What happens when they come back to bed? Do they discover the narrator with swollen eyes and salty skin?
The comedic twist is perfectly matched to counter the over-the-top melodrama preceding it.
Congratulations Sharon!
Thanks for making it a hard decision
Or not! Argh! You people with your crazy writing skills making this so frustratingly difficult to choose a weekly winner. So many good entries. So many great entries. So many excellent-oh-my-god-that-is-amazing entries. If I had multiple weekly prizes I could have easily awarded them.
I’m not going to comment on the stories right now because I don’t want to skew the competition. Let’s just say that there are many amazing entries, possible future winners and a lot of damn talented writers out there. When the competition is over I’ll write a post about the various entries I love.
I’ve been following links in posts back to websites and again I have to say you are a talented bunch. I admit I had a little professional jealousy when I read various blog posts. Thank you all for entering the competition and putting your work up on my site.
On the stats and voting
For those interested in statistics …
Some stories have a very small spread of scores – say mostly sevens and eights. Others have a greater spread – some tens, some fives, some ones. Others have widely varied scores – a bunch of tens, a bunch of ones and a few in the middle.
The problem is that each of these stories can show up with the same overall score of eight-ish.
The stories with widely varying scores do generally fit into the love it or hate it category. This I put down to how particular readers react to certain stories – demographic differences.
Excluding outliers (the single one on a story that has mostly eights, nines and tens for example) gives a more accurate rating for some stories. As the number of people scoring the story increase, it becomes less necessary to worry about this. I will say this – there are some fiveish – sevenish stories that really do look like they fit into the love/hate category. Lots of tens and lots of ones.
Also, you may have noticed that new stories can leap to the top of the sidebar list and then drop down again. I deliberately left the scoring so only a very few votes could push a story up to the top. As I hoped, this means that more people read them and score them – quickly pushing them to a more accurate rating.
Ok, enough stats.
The competition continues …
Thank you all so much again for taking part in the competition and spreading the word via twitter, websites and other places around the interwebs. I love two sentence stories and I’m very chuffed that so many people out there like them as well.
One week until next prize, another week to another prize and then a week later comes the big $150 first prize, $100 second prize and $50 third prize!
I’ve had a lot of fun with this. Thanks for keeping me entertained.
Cheers,
Mat
Shaved
I shaved today and then I felt his gaze on my absurdly young looking face.
Fuck you Truancy Robot, I’m an adult!
Beautiful
You are truly beautiful.
Like a pumpkin.
Raincheck
Ok, I said we should take a raincheck.
I didn’t mean for us to have this ten-year drought!
Sorting
Yesterday, as a group we spent the whole day sorting ideas into categories.
Today we’re going to work out what to do with the overflowing smug box.
Advice
I have advice for when you happen to buy a dog.
If the breed is GIANT FIRE-BREATHING Border Collie, don’t just assume that is the pet store being all clever and funny to sell dogs.
Cowboy
You change so gradually you can’t distinguish the individual steps.
First up you buy a silver belt buckle and then four years later people in your neighbourhood just refer to you as “the Cowboy”.
Founder
Man I can swim so well now that I keep hoping for a boat to founder and then we have to swim back to the shore and then you’ll think I’m awesome!
Want to come out on my Grandfather’s totally safe not old at all boat with me?