Did the cat know it would die that day it slipped over the neighbour’s fence?
Did it commit suicide because it couldn’t stand living with us anymore?
Author: admin
Pets
I travelled forward in time, eager to see what we had made of the world.
I turned up, found humans ruling everything and immediately went back with a mission to kill each and every single one of our going-to-get-too-big-for-their-collar pets.
Quit
I quit!
I did!
Awesome
Add any of the following to any situation and it is immediately more awesome.
Zombies, monkeys, robots, lasers.
Masterpiece
The Deathly Hallows.
Simply a masterpiece.
Understood
If women really truly understood the way males thought we’d be fucked.
And not in the good way it’s all about either.
Training
My training with you was just fantastic and so totally worthwhile for my future.
When I need to stay up to 3am, crying and discussing a relationship I am so going to rock at it!
Destiny
I am the darkness but I want to be the light.
Is there a point to fighting destiny?
Imaginary
Look over there at my jelly house.
Made of the finest imaginary materials available.
Birthday
My birthday wish came true.
All the air turned to custard.
Edible
So stupid to ask if it was edible.
Anything is if you really try.
Bank
I robbed a bank.
It was my bank, but it was still a thrill.
Fashion
I powdered the hats up, mixed them with water and heated them in a little spoon, ready for injection.
As I pushed the plunger I pretended I was in a TV show and so I shouted “we need 10CCs of FASHION stat!”
Slinky
There is an endless stair.
Go slinky go!
Books
Envelopes keep arriving from the future with best-selling books in them.
I’d type them out and submit them but man, typing is hard.
Transcendence
Do you think those who jump from high places to their death experience something close to transcendence?
Do those brief seconds stretch on forever?
Tiny explosion of joy
I wish there was a candy that was a tiny explosion of joy.
Nah, I’d probably get addicted.
Delay
He was so high on waiting that he didn’t even move when it started raining.
We called the ambulance and waited nearby, trying not to get too high on the delay.
Butterfly
I killed the butterfly.
That should teach the rest about making those damn hurricanes all the time.
Harmacy
I went to the harmacy and got some medicine.
It made me worse.