The key to writing a two sentence story is to make it sound deep and complicated. People will usually rate it highly because they don’t understand it and they’d rather not face their own stupidity.
Whoopsie Dasies
I managed to screw up the title and my name. I think i just landed myself in the pantheon of imbeciles
Phillip Baynes
Perhaps God is simply a disenfranchised man sitting alone in his apartment. Perhaps God only created the universe to feel like God, it’d explain a lot.
Recovery
When Jim and I broke up, I had my portrait painted in the foyer of the mall. A little girl yelled, “Look, he’s painting that beautiful woman,” and watched until the painting was finished.
The Death of Envy
When I spoke enviously of Josephine’s long lashes, rosy cheeks and soft curves, the corners of my Samael’s lips lifted, and he let out a low, menacing laugh that sent an erotic chill down my spine. He withdrew his blade and spoke in a hauntingly satisfied murmur to its blood-stained tip: “My love, all skeletons look the same.”
Fatherhood
“I’m sorry Jim, he was never yours,” she said, pulling the the child away. That was the last time he saw his son.
Charlie
He pontificated to his band of retard children, talking of revolution and apocalypse. To them, he was god, to us, he was simply Charles Manson.
He pontificated to his band of retard children, talking of revolution and apocalypse. To them, he was god, to us, he was simply Charles Manson.
Journey
After searching for an eternity, he arrived at the final door.
Grasping the handle he pulled,but then he smiled and went looking for the key.
THE LONELY PRINCESS…
Heartbroken again, wondering if as a little girl,if she were taught the game of life instead of playing house; would her heart still yearn for her prince?
Love Hurts
It’s not that she meant to hurt me, she just didn’t care – to this very day she hasn’t apologized. First she carved her name in my heart, then she broke it; I love her still.
I Don’t Believe It Was Suicide
“I don’t believe it was suicide,” she said. He agreed, then, with that knowing smile on his face, he pushed her off the cliff.
Doom
Back then, we were having so much fun. It was mainly because we had no idea what was about to happen to us.
Immobilized
Her father died while she was away on a study abroad trip. She never traveled again.
Naiveté – 2
The American girl spoke french like a child and he wanted to say so much to her. It was then, that he wished that his heartbeat came with subtitles
Naiveté
She was an American abroad for the first time, vainly struggling to employ all the French phrases she’d learned in high school. She kept wondering: “Why can’t these people speak their own language?”
wishes
The thing looked strange, it’s teeth all crinkly and eyes crazy like they were cut out and pasted back in by that fat kid that sat behind you in third grade and wheezed all the time. The description read “Last known Maori kuri – collected 1876 Catlins, New Zealand” and you didn’t even know that there were such things as Maori dogs and now you find out that they are all extinct and you Google it and find out that Hawaiian poi dogs are also extinct and you wish that instead of dogs that all red headed fat kids were extinct.
An Old Habit.
He stared at the big hole in the ground and gave in to the temptation. He shouted his name and each echo brought back old memories and it made him smile.
Scotland
They said that studying abroad could change your life. I never knew it could change your definition of “home.”
Dum spiro, spero . Well, he was running out of breath and she wasn’t answering the phone.