Memory

She had always thought of her father as an unreasonably harsh disciplinarian and had little if any recollection of his tenderness. Yet later on in life, her brother reminded her that when she had been very small and made what she considered to be a “gourmet” sandwich of ham, barbecue sauce, Fritos, and Tang sprinkled on top for good measure, their father had eaten it all and told her several times how good it was.

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Diction

The sisters could not get along. There were so many trigger words in their respective vocabularies that even the most mundane comment from either of them would immediately be interpreted by the other as a scathing insult.

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Gratitude

I’m glad I got dumped by everyone before my current boyfriend, and that I couldn’t get hired for any job until the one I’ve got now. I was willing to settle for something mediocre, but time and again, rejection spared me that fate.

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Disillusioned

When she first went away to college, she was excited to join the student group organized around social justice. She dropped out a few months later with the impression that behind a flimsy façade of civil rights-inspired rhetoric, it was all just an excuse for people to smoke up together, trade indie badges, and get laid without having to go to a club.

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Re-adjustments

Everyone has those nightmares (easily dismissed once they’ve graduated into the workforce) in which they’ve forgotten to study for an exam or to turn in a project.

The hardest thing about going back to grad school was waking up from one of these nightmares with the momentary uncertainty of whether or not it might be true.

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Lacking

All during his life, most types of learning came naturally to him. It was both a blessing and a curse because, seldom having been forced to cultivate patience, he would become doubly frustrated on the rare occasions that he couldn’t readily absorb a new technique or concept.

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Cannibal

When he died, her father left her an inheritance large enough to travel the world many times over. She was so wracked by guilt that she had a recurring nightmare in which she was a cannibal—literally living off the remains of the dead.

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em dash?

He always wondered why a writer like himself constantly felt the need to lengthen a perfectly adequate sentence with an em dash, especially since an em dash coming after something like an “h” or a “b” gives the letter the distinct appearance of sporting a massive erection. Oh—

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Lost

He began to attack the ideas he scorned by parody. After many years, he could not quite remember where he started or clearly discern which words he really meant as opposed to the ones spoken sarcastically.

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Wasted

Every time they were together, he was drunk, or high, or deliberately flirting with other girls in front of her just to make sure she knew how little she mattered to him. The whole thing made her feel like such a waste of really fine wine of some beer-guzzler’s ass.

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