OCD Torture

When he left the office, his desk was clean, free of clutter, almost pristine. Three days later his coworkers had managed to pile it high with files, random junk and their own personal belongings.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 6.2/10 (13 votes cast)

The Rescue

The red headed woman working at the animal shelter hated all the stupid humans who left without an animal; how dare they not adopt one of the cuties. She noted their addresses and later that night murdered them in their sleep.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 4.3/10 (20 votes cast)

The Newspaper Man

All of his customers thought he was a perfectly normal guy selling daily newspapers and magazines at the underground subway shop. Little did they know he laced every page with poison and was slowly killing them all.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 7.3/10 (21 votes cast)

“Oh, I’m afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive…”

Luke Skywalker heard Emperor Palpatine promise to murder his friends and felt the dark side boiling inside of him. Giving in to the darkness he activated his lightsaber, chopped the Emperor’ s and Darth Vader’s heads off and hit the Death Star’ self destruct button; sending them all to hell.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 5.4/10 (20 votes cast)

The Harvest

Everyone in town knew it was wrong, but it was very important that this years harvest go well, for them and the whole country depending on their crops. The town leaders tied the virgin down to the altar and lit the fire pit.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 6.9/10 (18 votes cast)

“What kind of man do you want to be?”

Pat remembered his father explaining that when life gets you down, when someone makes you angry, or when you get thrown a curveball that it’s better to laugh it off as opposed to getting mad and acting like you’re going to kill someone. Pat threw an internal switch and decided that in fact, it was better to get angry and kill someone, specifically his friend Denny.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 6.1/10 (10 votes cast)

fantasy football draft day murder part 2

The basement on draft day was a powder keg of long-held resentments and well-placed barbs made painful and stale over time; hatred was everywhere, so thick you could slice it up and eat it straight out of the air. The battle royale started like the most vengeful game of dominoes you’ve ever played: Pat sprayed his bear mace into Evan’s eyes, screaming almost unintelligibly about last year’s Fred Jackson trade, and Evan — even blind — wrapped his chain around Pat’s neck, yanked him to the ground, and pounced atop his rival with all the rage of all the years.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 4.0/10 (24 votes cast)

fantasy football draft day murder part 1

The basement was full of killers: Andy with his customized spiked brass knuckles; Victor gripping his trust machete; Evan cradling his whipping chain; Sam gripping a duo of rusty butcher knives; Pat with his bear mace in hand. My God, Denny thought as he descended into the basement, this is the day our fantasy football threats come nightmarishly true.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 3.7/10 (26 votes cast)

The Shot to Right Field

He’d been waiting all season for the outfield to fully commit to playing him deep. He saw his opportunity when the outfield took a few extra steps backwards so he adjusted his stance and got a hit towards right field that knocked everyone to the ground like a nuclear explosion and melted their faces off.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 5.8/10 (9 votes cast)

First Prize

Suzanne was proud to discover that she had won the pie-eating contest. She received her trophy, posed for a photo with the Mayor, and then promptly returned home and exploded.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 8.0/10 (10 votes cast)