Category: Competition

How could it be that there is only ONE God and yet his messenger was also God; thus making TWO?

Now if there is TWO, then there must be a ghostly CONNECTION between, so that makes three, see?!!

Very old now, I trudge the beach noticing that even the tide comes in faster these days.

Slithering behind, Old Nick’s slimy swish is accelerating, and louder and oh so confident.

I left my darling in the ICU, knowing that she would be well in a few days.

I returned after a short nap in the car to find that they had murdered her.

The big bang seemed a little ostentatious. On the whole, creation decided to downgrade itself to a level 3 reality impact;level 4 being X factor.

once i saw you in line at the cinema.
i’d already seen that movie.

Before zombies ambushed Santa Claus and ate his brains, he lived in Tahiti, wore a grass skirt, was clean shaven, employed only human union members in his toy factories, used horses to pull a gift-filled buggy, and delivered presents by entering children’s homes through front doors.

After receiving a new brain in a botched operation, he moved to the North Pole, wore only red suits, grew a beard, employed only non-union elves in his factories, used reindeer to pull a gift-fill sleigh, and delivered presents by entering children’s homes through filthy chimneys.

As the huge pot began to boil, Harry hollered, “I have herpes, syphilis, leprosy, so I’ll taste lousy, not to mention cannibalism causes madness and tribal extinction.”

His non-English speaking captors were entrepreneurs, not cannibals, so they sold the 30 gallons of chunky soup, 150 patties, 28 pounds of jerky and 500 sausages they derived from Harry’s carcass to tribes that were.

With the grim prognosis delivered in the sterile environment of the doctor’s office, James scooted his chair closer to Sarah’s, patting her hand, realizing she was at a juncture in her life for mending fences with her estranged sibling, even though he knew reconciliation would be difficult after so many years of hurt feelings stemming from a long ago forgotten slight.

“Absolutely not,” was Sarah’s initial reaction to the suggestion followed by, “I’m not in the mood to listen to helpful hints from the healthy,” leaving James to understand any bringing of the two together would be solely up to him.

The thickly applied make-up became grotesque beneath the unforgiving fluorescent lighting, illuminating the horror lurking in the face of a thousand nightmares. I wondered then how I’d managed to wind up in the staff toilets at the Spurling Brothers circus.

Just look at me, I’m rolling over in my grave. What ever happened to writing the old-fashioned way, with pencil?

I love you…I love you…I love you. “Right, you, ya little twat – clean it off, I’ve just painted that fuckin’ wall!”

Sitting on a stairway, sweat turning my skin into a shiny sheen, I see the light.

“You can come home now.”

She got the job because of something beginning with the letter ‘b’. It wasn’t brains.