He had overheard his grandmother telling an aunt, “If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck.” A moment of staring at his new fiancee led him to the realization: “Oh snap – I’m in love with a whore!”
Category: Competition
Competition
OC
He often sorted his things into separate containers according to color, size, or use, sometimes even according to the similarities of the memories brought to mind by the items. But when she came, he found her so unique that he could not classify her into an existing group, and, caring for her so much that he had to put her in a safe place, he kept her in his heart.
Always, ALWAYS Naked
He was my best friend in high school, and I admired his complete lack of inhibition.
Now he is my college roommate, and I just wish he would put some damn pants on.
Who Needs Locks
Always slam the doors when you enter a room.
That’s how you hit the burglars in the face.
Naval Situation
Before you I was drowning, but you threw me a rope. I only saw when I caught it that it was made of lead.
A Reconsideration
She loved him.
Perhaps she should have found out if the feeling was mutual before organizing the surprise wedding.
Vague Giftings
I got you something! …I dunno what it is, but it’s definitely something!
Love Stories
He loved her and she loved him. Shame the ‘her’ and the ‘she’ wasn’t one and the same.
Tendencies
We tend to criticize others for what they do not know due to lack of exposure and take pride in the knowledge we so easily acquired. What’s worse is that we criticize the things that we do not know while we take pride in the knowledge that is of no value to others.
No More Family Reunions
Your mother wrapped her pies in barbed wire and alarms as always, your nieces played hopscotch over land mines being the little daredevils they are, and our cousins did that tricky balancing act they’ve always done on the picket fence. If you promised to keep all those electric eels of yours on their leashes I’d let you come again, but I knew you were up to no good when I saw you wearing those rubber gloves.
Ever Been Tested?
The tests we have in life – school examinations or job performance evaluations – are seldom reliable and should not be considered bases for assessing your capabilities. If you pass or if you fail, it does not mean that you are superior or inferior to others; the real test is if you know how to deal with failure…and if you know how to handle success.
She Reads
She was neither fake nor vain; she could not understand why other women crowded in shops looking for the perfect dress or the most exquisite necklace, and how they enjoyed their dreams at night when all they could see were their pretentious bodies bathed in gold. She was grateful though – the more women there are in beauty shops, the less there are in the dusty bookstores where she found the most exquisite and perfect stories that conjure her technicolor dreams at night.
Their Love Story
He met her on Mars. They got married on Neptune and he took her to Earth for their honeymoon
Questions at the Brink
As he lay dying he wondered about many things. Why the Sky was blue, the
Earth round and all the other little things except for why him and why now?.
Deepest, Darkest Secret
The neighbors know my deepest, darkest secret. I am boring.
Crap & Flush
They say you shouldn’t stuff your face when you’re stressed because the fat will long outlast your worries, but really it’s the other way around. If only we were able to crap out and flush away the stress as easily the next day!
Directions Please
At the edge of his world lay a secret box. Now all he needed was someone to point the way there.
Object, Pronoun
Although you may personally object, only I am the pro of this noun; grammatically speaking, of course.
Build It!
If you build it, they will come. If you eat it, they will flush–just don’t eat before building.
Love’s Rose
Even in this, His love is shown:
Thorns may exist, so does the rose