I went to dinner once with a critic, a cynic, and a mutant alien life-form from Mars. The critic stuck up his nose and said the food wasn’t good enough to be served to anyone with taste buds, and with a heavy sigh the cynic explained that chefs don’t actually cook for our pleasure or benefit but rather to fulfill their own selfish desire for success – but both men looked bitterly disappointed and wistfully hungry when in one foul swoosh of its crooked, wart-infested finger the mutant alien life-form zapped both of their plates to ashes.
“Today was the best day of my entire life!” Glen exclaimed with the grin of a madman before stabbing the dagger straight into his heart.
We shouldn’t have been surprised; he had always preached a sell-high mentality.
The rockstar was born eleven days after I was.
I should probably stop measuring myself against him if I ever want to be happy.
Ok, the truth – I am thinking of someone else when we have sex.
It is you, before we got married and you dropped your happiness somewhere.
Her hands trembling and her heart filled with utter joy and happiness, like a giggling schoolgirl, she gazed lovingly at the man who this day would become her husband until death do them part.
Their wheelchairs were placed side by side in the room filled with family, friends and nursing home attendants, all smiling and tearful, while a seemingly group thought gripped them all: The body may grow old but the heart is forever young.
I heard her when she said, “I just want you to be happy, so I’m leaving you,” but I couldn’t understand it.
I thought I already was.
If she’d seen him on the street she might not have looked at him twice, but when he danced he was the kind of beautiful that made her start thinking in verse, long strings of adjectives and hyperbole leaping out of her fingertips. After a few songs worth of violent inner turmoil, she worked up the courage to ask him to dance a rumba with her, and it was then that she realized the most perfect kind of joy could only be expressed in 4/4 time at 26 measures per minute.
Who doesn’t want to have pun once in a while? Pun intended.
One afternoon, she went to the store and unexpectedly bought almost 12 months of memories. They weren’t on sale and definitely can’t be returned.