The Rumba

If she’d seen him on the street she might not have looked at him twice, but when he danced he was the kind of beautiful that made her start thinking in verse, long strings of adjectives and hyperbole leaping out of her fingertips. After a few songs worth of violent inner turmoil, she worked up the courage to ask him to dance a rumba with her, and it was then that she realized the most perfect kind of joy could only be expressed in 4/4 time at 26 measures per minute.

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Rating: 8.9/10 (12 votes cast)

Pride and Prejudice

Before boarding the train to a beach town, I once laughed heartily at a guy with oversized glasses and over-gelled hair. Weirdly, on the evening train back into town, he attempted a Back Street Boys’ medley in broken English and somehow won me over to the idea of sharing a gelato.

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Rating: 8.0/10 (5 votes cast)

Consolation

I used to fantasize that Zach would go on “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” get made over for me, and ask over the special dinner Ted taught him to make if I can ever forgive him for having been so stupid as to turn me down, he was just scared, et cetera, and now he’s realized his mistake and agonized over it, and will I give him a second chance?

Sometimes I would say no and sometimes yes, but invariably, all the Queer Eye guys gasped while watching the clip when I came on the screen and each exclaimed, “Oh she’s delightful,” then another “delicious,” and another “de-lovely!”

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Rating: 4.7/10 (6 votes cast)

Unconditional Love

Daddy never answered when I called, so mommy bought me a doll that resembled him and a box of pins I stuck in it to keep track of the times he didn’t answer. I still love my daddy, even though police found him in his rented room lying in a pool of blood from the small holes riddling his body.

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Rating: 7.6/10 (18 votes cast)

Love At First Sight

“Lust at first sight may be real, but love at first sight is a myth,” I said with self-assurance, to which my grandfather chuckled.

“I was smitten with your Grandma the moment I saw her,” he said with a grin, “and we been married over forty years… I’m fairly sure it ain’t been lust that’s kept us together.”

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Rating: 7.1/10 (15 votes cast)