She justified being overweight by saying she wanted someone to fall in love with her for her and not her body. A couple decades of loneliness and thirty pounds of M&Ms later, she began to wonder if her body wasn’t really a part of her after all.
“How did you know you could marry him?”
“During breakfast I told him I didn’t like to eat bacon because the striped fatty bits reminded me too much of human flesh, and he laughed.”
Diet sodas are now being sold in seven ounce cans. I feel a little better knowing that I am drinking death in smaller doses.