Don’t Jump! …(yet)…

“Wait – don’t jump!” Carly Ann yelled at her big brother who was ready and poised to plummet to (what he thought would be) his death from the window of his second-story bedroom. “Just give me a minute to get up there and I’ll push you off myself!”

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The Balloon

I kept looking up at this giant Happy Birthday balloon floating above the cubicle next to me like it was a really tall person’s head staring back in disapproval. Finally I jumped at it with a letter opener and stabbed it to death and everyone though I was trying to stab Kelly until I explained everything to HR and the police and was fired, by not arrested.

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Real Hell

I had always imagined blazing hot flames, whips and chains, and one hundred tons of pure, physical pain. But if I had known that hell was going to consist of watching over and over again the thing I did to you… well, this is far worse than the punishment I had imagined – and there’s no way to go back.

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Life’s Equation

Positively believing that we are in the primes of our lives, it is only when we multiply and create offspring that we truly see what the adding of years has done to us and realize that our entire equation served as the means to a product comprised of us yet entirely different. Now that there’s no way to subtract the years and start over again, I am left to wonder if my tiny part in the equation will be remembered down the road long after the calculations are complete, or if all my factors shall fade away.

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Live Life to the Fullest

I shrugged off the message I found in my fortune cookie after finishing a “pint” of sweet and sour chicken that told me I had only one week left to live. A week and a day later, as I lay sprawled across the couch with remote steadily aimed at TV, I wondered if maybe, just maybe, I should have taken the fortune seriously.

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