Horror Story

I am a horror story; you should be afraid to pick me up, lead me on, make me fall in love with you, let me down and break my heart.
Cause if you do all those things, I promise you I’ll hunt you down, because I don’t let go that easily, I’ll take my soul back and leave you there for dead.

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Rating: 6.3/10 (44 votes cast)

Shock

Kelly was my girlfriend at the time and she tried to shock me one day by showing me that she had shaved her head. I just laughed because I knew I had a far better shock waiting for her in my backyard where I kept the dead bodies of all the people I had murdered.

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Rating: 6.2/10 (55 votes cast)

fantasy football draft day murder part 2

The basement on draft day was a powder keg of long-held resentments and well-placed barbs made painful and stale over time; hatred was everywhere, so thick you could slice it up and eat it straight out of the air. The battle royale started like the most vengeful game of dominoes you’ve ever played: Pat sprayed his bear mace into Evan’s eyes, screaming almost unintelligibly about last year’s Fred Jackson trade, and Evan — even blind — wrapped his chain around Pat’s neck, yanked him to the ground, and pounced atop his rival with all the rage of all the years.

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Rating: 4.2/10 (23 votes cast)

fantasy football draft day murder part 1

The basement was full of killers: Andy with his customized spiked brass knuckles; Victor gripping his trust machete; Evan cradling his whipping chain; Sam gripping a duo of rusty butcher knives; Pat with his bear mace in hand. My God, Denny thought as he descended into the basement, this is the day our fantasy football threats come nightmarishly true.

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Rating: 3.5/10 (24 votes cast)

Never Shave Again

He’d finally had enough of shaving and he was convinced if he got a close enough shave he wouldn’t have to worry about it for a whole week. Over and over again the five bladed razor scraped along his skin; the deranged man never noticed he had reached bone as his whole torso was covered in blood and shredded pieces of his face.

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Rating: 7.3/10 (37 votes cast)

I got your starbucks right here

The girl wearing scandalous exercise clothes gave me no choice, really: I had tapped her shoulder as a friendly reminder that the Starbucks barista was ready to take her order. Exercise Freak bristled, turned toward me, called me all manner of socially unacceptable nicknames, and soon found herself on the floor, having her pretty little face melted off by scalding coffee — Pike’s Peak, to be exact.

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Rating: 5.5/10 (37 votes cast)

First Date

The cave beast slithered out of his lair for a quick drink at Starbucks with the unsuspecting girl. “I should have stayed home and gotten drunk by myself watching Lifetime movies,” she thought as he deftly drained the life out of her with his overdeveloped sense of joylessness, honed over a score of years in his mother’s basement.

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Rating: 5.4/10 (23 votes cast)