To have the untamable curiosity of a cat would offer a life so compelling. All of the humdrum, commonplace things turn entrancing and the daily grind is now intriguing.
The cat came out of it’s hiding place, where it waited, perched on the bookshelf; waiting for it’s owner to take that one book from the shelf, so the cat could jump back into the book and start all over again. Only, the cat didn’t want to leave this place.
And God said, Let there be light.
“Then what happened?”
I broke into the old building’s basement to get out of the cold in and rain; a voice in the dark whispered “Get out.”
And I hissed back, “Make me.”
They gave me the wrong package when I left the cleaners.
I only realized after I’d opened it up to find my picture and a hit sheet with my name and home address.
It isn’t so much that I always wake up with a hangover and blacked out from a hard night of drinks and drugs that bothers me.
It’s that I always wake up.
The only thing that you’re aware of are these words in your field of vision; this will change as soon as you’ve acclimatized.
The upload was a success; your body died as your consciousness was transferred online.
I tried to sell my soul to the Devil once.
He told my my asking price was too high.
In order to stop my four-year-old son from swearing, I told him that with every curse a fluffy kitten dies. Our back garden is now littered with tiny graves, but the boy has got to learn about consequences.
She said, ‘No.’
I didn’t care.
The Undertaker sprinkled the cadavers with cat-nip.
Then, pocketing her customers’ generous fees, took a permanent vacation.
“I’ll never be married,” mused the middle-aged woman as she sipped on free champagne and watched with shameful bitterness as a toddler in a tuxedo chased a group of newborn ducks. “I’m going to become one of those angry spinsters who’s mean to children and gives her cats people names.”
Danny thought it was hilarious to joke that his cat Michael Myers had not eaten for a week. He found it less funny when Michael Myers ate most of his forehead later that day.
She didn’t like going to her neighbor’s house, 3 doors down, because there were no streetlights with the trees casting a frightening shadow under the moon’s light, and it was always deathly silent on their street, but they had asked her to feed their cats while they were gone for two days, so with trepidation she approached the door, only to hear a sudden, terrifyingly, booming roar, followed by vicious growling, a man’s commanding voice, and bright lights flashing in the bedroom.
After she recovered from her shock, and still clutching her chest where her heart would be if it hadn’t fallen down to her stomach, she remembered that they leave Animal Planet on the television for their cats!