Pedal to the Metal

Tim Carob is a crime artist specializing in car jacking who is right at this moment crests a hill to land on both bumpers and turning onto Lollipop Street on a skid of sparks, followed by an ensemble of toots, whoops, and sirens. It is a police pursuit the likes of which has never been seen since the 80s cinema heyday of car chases, with our anti-hero protagonist chuckling up the vertiginous slope of a bascule bridge.

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The Balloon

I kept looking up at this giant Happy Birthday balloon floating above the cubicle next to me like it was a really tall person’s head staring back in disapproval. Finally I jumped at it with a letter opener and stabbed it to death and everyone though I was trying to stab Kelly until I explained everything to HR and the police and was fired, by not arrested.

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Zombie flash-mob devastated by surprisingly well-prepared mental patients.

Tragedy marred an otherwise peaceful and routine zombie flash-mob in Vancouver, BC, when a troop of heavily armed schizophrenics laid waste to the costumed celebrators with guns, torches, and clubs.

Said police, this is what comes of crying wolf.

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