Stare into the haunting green ocean, now imagine the green was red. Look disgusted at the sharp red blood, now imagine the red was green.
Notes
When I was a kid I used to bury notes in empty pasta sauce jars.
Now my old house is the only one with note trees.
Pawn
It’s possible I’m one of those pawns that ends up being a King.
Or maybe I’ve got pawn-delusions.
Stagnant
Passing the gelateria I notice the chairs have taken their winter position upside down on top their tables. The chairs remind me that summer has faded, in fact long gone, and that I too should have faded from Rapallo.
Paper dog
I folded and glued and painted and prepared ever so carefully.
Now I wait for my paper dog to come to life.
Deep
Apparently you’re young until you’re not.
Deep … and yet shallow.
In love again
I’m in love again, finally.
Oh double cheese-burger, you little tart, I love you!
Fetch
My dog is made of tennis balls.
He keeps trying to fetch himself.
Tourettes
I have a very CANDY strange type of SUGER-COATED TEDDY-BEAR HUGGING Tourettes.
Soon, soon I shall be FAIRY-KISSING UNICORN FLYING cured.
Drought
I have the solution to the drought!
Cry me a river.
Hooray
Hooray for the future! Who would have believed someone would sleep with you because of a blog post?
Latest in technology
I am the latest in technology.
I sensed your heartbeat quickening as you stepped closer to me.
Finally home
She paced the floor over and over, cursing his very being, dreaming of how many ways she would tear him apart for putting her through this misery again, when he arrived home, which he always did, with a stupid look on his face and a lame excuse emanating from his lips.
No matter how much she loved him, she would teach him a lesson this time she vowed, until the knock on the front door accompanied by the two uniformed police officers, brought her world to a crashing halt.
Mistake
Everyone makes one mistake.
Perhaps you were mine.
the colourful fish
The fish swished and twirled,twisted and whirled ,whenever you came near. He wiggled and jiggled trying to bust out as though your lips on the glass just weren’t enough.
the awakening
She slapped him across the face and he quickly turned white as a ghost. She said “I’m so sorry,” then he said “so am I.”
The Dog That Speaks English
Phoebe – a small dog who wasn’t known for her jumping abilities – wasn’t allowed on the furniture but after begging every night, her female owner finally said, “OK, Phoebe, if you can make it onto the bed by yourself, then I’ll let you stay up here.” Moments later Phoebe used all her might and jumped on the bed; her female owner turned to her husband and said, “See, I told you she speaks English.”
Coupons
You gave them to me for my birthday and I expect you to honour them.
I don’t care we’re broken up – these sex coupons are still valid!
The Weasel
She could eat the heart right out of a victim, tearing the flesh, wounding to the bone, and devouring the soul.
Who said all weasels had to have four legs?
Janes Jump
Jane looked down from the open door of the plane, her heart beating like a bass drum, and her hands grasping the sides of the doorway for dear life while the wind tried to suck her out before she could jump.
“I can’t do it” she screamed above the roaring in her ears and looking back at her jump partner, but it was too late, when she looked back her foot slid over the side and she was sucked out of the plane.