May the Lord strike me deaf if I’m not telling the truth.
It started the night of the Gleason wedding: Missy Gleason and Joe McGregor’s eldest boy, Thomas, had decided to tie their knot at the Town Hall instead of at Missy’s folks’ place, which infuriated Mother Gleason enough to kill her cactus, Ralph, by nudging it out the window (Ralph’s home had been that windowsill since before Mother Gleason could remember); and Missy’s sisters had had their wedding and reception and, later, a funeral, at the old Gleason homestead, so why couldn’t Missy? The instant Mother Gleason found out that Missy was going to be a girl she began looking forward to the day her youngest, and final child, would walk down the aisle… so, naturally, the Town Hall seemed not only an impersonal choice but also an aberrant drift from the long-held Gleason family tradition, of which Missy would have no part, stating, “Because it’s not at the house, that’s why,” further infuriating her mother, who, incidentally, insisted on naming her daughter Mildred Ester Gleason, but had changed her mind when her husband threatened to leave and never return, saying, “…if you demonize that child with that name, I’ll…” So, Missy it was.