Category: Two Sentence Stories

I have a catalogue of every beautiful thing that exists.
(You’re on page 388372.)

Fucking Australia and all the fucking obsession with fucking sport!
“Some football player has sustained a papercut and is in doubt for this weekend, also three billion people have died from an unknown virus, BUT AGAIN, SOME FOOTBALL PLAYER HAS SUSTAINED A PAPERCUT!”

He claimed he like jazz.
He only said it to sound cool.

Yes we spent months hollowing out giant rocks and fitting them with tiny video screens.
Yes we’re preparing for something but it’s a secret.

I’ve changed the variables I use to measure my life.
Currently I’m scoring in blog posts.

I’m not going to change my mind.
Besides, I think it’s out of the warranty period.

They said they expected high performance.
Sure, I can steal stuff off Wikipedia better than anyone I know.

I can’t wait until I’m wiki-famous!
Or wiki-infamous, I don’t care.

See this twenty cents?
It is the change I want to see in the world.

On our anniversary.
You’re with someone not me.

You want proof invisibility has completely and utterly been achieved?
Think of all the people you know who are wearing invisible leashes.

Is it possible there is no point to anything?
Nah.

I took a wife when I was twenty-six.
Not my wife, of course.

Got myself a lover now.
How’s that … um … thing … you do?

In the beginning the ratio of conversation to access to your wet hot pussy was quite good.
In the end it was way tilted out of balance.