Category: Two Sentence Stories

I’ve got all the answers.
27, the Earl of Sandwich, Mount Fuji, a maker of hats, check it out yeah.

I’ll have the gourmet socks with a side of yarn and a glass of cotton.
Eating out is the best.

I’m not going to change my mind.
Besides, I think it’s out of the warranty period.

He didn’t like the Mona Lisa.
He wanted to be remembered for his carved buttons.

I don’t know what is wrong with robot dog.
Perhaps we should stop calling him botty.

You really don’t need to tell me what you did.
There are no stars so it is pretty obvious.

People all around the world are really addicted to this “true love” thing, huh?
Maybe some kind of partner exchange program will help them out.

You delight and offend me in equal amounts.
Up the delight and I’ll marry you.

You hear that buzzing sound?
It’s the dark cracking void where your soul used to be you fucking marketing sellout shit.

Despite having many jobs where people call me a writer I still don’t believe it.
(I’m just faking it everybody …)

I don’t really have any inner demons.
I’ve got inner lemons though.

I understand completely that you love me.
But do you obsessively write about me in little notebooks that will be found after your death?

My training with you was just fantastic and so totally worthwhile for my future.
When I need to stay up to 3am, crying and discussing a relationship I am so going to rock at it!

Welcome to corporate slavery and meaningless drudgery.
Oh, I mean welcome to your cubicle.

When you’re surrounded by assholes there is only one thing to do!
Lube up baby.

Physicists are currently working to discover all kinds of new particles.
I’ve got one for them: fuckingboredatworkidium.

I really do feel for you.
Not pain, but what I imagine pain to be like.

I wanted to fight injustice and save the world!
Instead I had to sell out just like the rest of you.

Great, so the world belongs to the meek.
What the fuck am I going to do with my jumbo-mega-destructor laser cannons now?

You want proof invisibility has completely and utterly been achieved?
Think of all the people you know who are wearing invisible leashes.